oh boobs...

i feel like writing an ode to my breasts. i mean, i wasn't that crazy about them before the baby - they were on the small side, but looked decent in a push-up bra. they didn't bounce around too much or made my back hurt, so we were on good terms.

then came the child.

now they're all stretch-marked (oh yeah, you get them there, too) and veiny. they're bigger, which is cool, but i have to hold them when i run up and down the stairs b/c they bounce around. i'm also afraid of the whole sagging deal - but i hear that won't happen too badly for a few years, so whatever.

let's move on to the nipples. we aren't speaking at the moment, but it's totally the kid's fault. SHE'S the one making them bleed and the skin peel off and constantly hurt - i keep trying to tell them that, but they won't listen. they've written me off months ago. i try to not think of them, but alas - they throb with pain most of the day, so forgetting is a bit difficult.

but back to the boobs. so we're weaning the babe and i developed a plugged milk duct, which soon became infected because of the broken skin on the nip. fascinating, correct? the other night, the top half of my right boob became hard as a rock and i had a fever of 103, complete with severe chills. now i'm on antibiotics and cursing life because i have mastitis. yes, infected clogged boob has a medical name.

ya' know, i think i should rename this blog "any woman who is even thinking about pregancy: READ THIS FIRST." ps to that, if anyone has questions about ANYTHING in the baby-making, -cooking, -popping out, -feeding, -etc.ing just ask and i'll write a lengthy and most likely disgusting post about it. i'm good like that.

okay, the kid is getting restless, so i'll end here.

john still claims to enjoy the girls (not like he's seen them recently)(poor guy...), so it can't be all bad. i'm back to wearing normal clothes, a.k.a. tank tops and bras that don't snap open at the boob like dominatrix-wear.

nursing bras: for the more mature sex employee. with a baby.

{sigh}.