yo

long time, no write, huh.


instead of spending an entire post devoted to how i haven't updated, i'll just jump right in with my thought of the day.


someone/thing has been trying to kill me all day, and it's totally not cool. how, you may ask? well here's how:

1. i had some wicked chest pains most of the day, leaving me convinced i was on the verge of a heart attack. my sister, the "nurse" (i don't know why that's in quotes, she literally is a nurse)(it stays), said that i had indigestion and it eventually went away, but when i used to have indigestion/heartburn whilst pregnant, i felt burning up and down my esophagus, not IN MY F'N HEART. i'll keep y'all posted on whether or not i die of a massive heart attack. stay tuned.

2. i was filling the dishwasher like a half hour ago, bent down to pull the door closed, and suddenly heard a clicking noise and smelled gas. i turned around and somehow i turned on one of the stove burners with my ass. puh-lease. the knobs have to be pushed in THEN turned. i mean, my ass is incredible and all, but it's not quite trained enough to do the work of opposable thumbs.

3. not ten minutes ago i'm washing my face when i somehow turn my sister's hair dryer on, which was plugged in and sitting on the floor. for a split second i considered pulling the plug out of the wall when i realized, "hey, your hands are soaking wet. wanna die? then go ahead and pull out that chord. ass." so i was forced to open my eyes and turn it off manually, all the while getting stinging dove facewash in my peepers.


hence and thusly, someone/thing has put out a hit on me. f you, vengeful whomever.

aight i'm about done here. househunting is interesting, especially b/c we're not really looking seriously at the moment, but whatev. more on that later.

peace out, bitches.